Acts 9:5 (KJV) “And he said, Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks.”
Surrender is bitter. No one enjoys yielding control. Yet the real pain lies not in surrender itself, but in the exhausting struggle to resist what we already know is coming.
Such was the life of Saul. Ellen White describes him as “a Hebrew of the Hebrews; as touching the law, a Pharisee; concerning zeal, persecuting the church; touching the righteousness which is in the law, blameless.” (Philippians 3:5–6). He was esteemed by the rabbis as a young man of great promise, with high hopes placed on him as a zealous defender of the ancient faith. His appointment to the Sanhedrin placed him in a position of influence and authority (AA 112.1).
Yet Saul’s zeal was misdirected. His religion lacked what Jesus called the “weightier matters of the law”: justice, mercy, and faithfulness (Matthew 23:23, NIV). He was willing to defend this distorted faith with his life. But Jesus rebuked such misguided devotion;
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.” Matthew 23:23 It was at this very point, when Saul was most convinced of his righteousness that Christ revealed Himself. The phrase “it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks” refers to the sharp goads used to guide stubborn animals. For Saul (Paul), these “pricks” were the internal convictions and external signs God had been using to steer him. But Saul resisted, and the resistance almost led to his insanity which is the ultimate result of going against conviction.
As Christians, we too often kick against the pricks. We resist our calling. We feel the Spirit’s nudge toward a ministry, a reconciliation, or a step of obedience but we hesitate because it’s inconvenient, uncomfortable, or frightening. We rationalize sin. We feel conviction about a habit or attitude, but justify it by pointing to our religious credentials: “I go to church on Sabbath, I have reformed my diet and dress, I tithe faithfully, I know my Bible.”
The human heart resists surrender because it equates yielding with weakness. Like Saul, we prioritize the visible and measurable aspects of faith, using them as shields against deeper transformation. But the pain we feel is not punishment from God, it’s the weariness of resisting the Spirit who longs to give us rest.
Reflection:
Where is my greatest spiritual effort directed? Am I defending my current behavior, or seeking Christ’s heart?
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, You know the deepest places in our hearts where we still cling to control and resist Your perfect will. Shine Your light on the paths we have been avoiding. Reveal the convictions we have suppressed, the calls we have ignored, and the sins we have rationalized through our own perceived righteousness. Teach us to surrender; not in defeat, but in trust. Amen